I’m envious. I hate myself for letting this sin inhabit my soul. It’s a constraint I must escape from. My mind is in constant regret in allowing a small guilt flow from these stream of blood. I can’t fight it.
I tried escaping from it once. Or twice. I don’t know… Maybe a million times. It’s hard to remove it completely. It’s a chain with sharp edge that pierces my limbs to the ground with nearly no way of breaking out.
My misery is haunting me. I shout for help but no one hears me. The way I see things must be a hallucination. It doesn’t even make sense. What is wrong? I loathe changing but that’s why I am stuck in a situation I can’t leave.
But most of all, I’m envious of the feeling I won’t be able to make a heart skip a beat. A roar of agony still rings on my ear. Make it stop. It’s hurting me. The wounds deepen. I want to let loose from this resentment.