I Dreamt About Mermaids

Every kid has gone through a stage of their life where they wanted to be someone. From fairy tale characters to Disney princesses to Marvel superheroes. I want to be an invisible kid with the powers of telekinesis. (I even closed my eyes and lift my hands to an object and think that I can move something before I even know it was called telekinesis.)
But being a mermaid was my childhood’s top priority “wannabe character”.
The tail.
The hair.
The voice.
Or at least that’s what Ariel in The Little Mermaid Disney character made me think of mermaids.

Whenever we go to the swimming pool, I would always sway my hair as I fall into the water to imitate the movement of Ariel’s hair in the “Part of Your World” song. But I’ll always end up suffocating myself because that was no way for hair to move in water.
My room would be plenty of blankets in different colours and different textures. I lay down, cover my legs with a blanket, tuck the sides in my legs and leave a fin down my feet. I’d be the happiest kid if I perfected my tail.
I SING THE SONG WITH ALL MY LUNG POWER UNTIL I PASS OUT. Because I wanted to be Ariel so bad and that’s why I didn’t have friends. (That’s a terrible joke)

It was all fun and games before I watched “Peter Pan” and knew that mermaids are sick. They lure pirates with their beautiful voice and gorgeous hair and luscious lips and silky hair… arghh. How I hate that image.

I still do want to become a mermaid and sing songs and do backflips in water. But I am not good at swimming. I hate the ocean and sea creatures. Still, I am afraid to go into the sea where I cannot see the bottom. I hate when it’s pitch black. And I imagine that the darkness hides something that would pull me down into the deep scary ocean floor and never to come back ashore.

What I learned about wanting to change who I am is that it would never happen. I could imagine being one of the superheroes or the supervillains. But what I am is what best suits me. I can swim even if I’m not a mermaid. Not as fast but I am able. I’m not an imaginary character that not even one can prove they exist. Compromises still exist in every angle of our lives. Be yourself even if everyone pressures you.

I just wish everyone realizes that they are made perfectly imperfect and that’s beautiful for me.

Random posts on my #dailyjournal

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