Hold on Tight

This morning, I had the weirdest nightmare. I’ve dreamt about my cat missing for more than a month. It goes something like this:

Backstory. I have a cat named “Manaw”. His name was originally given to his older brother, my former cat. Since he also has the same sound as his brother, I named him similar.

The first thing I remember was that I am back home from my vacation after one month. My childhood house was huge and wide you can get lost in it. The first thing I looked for was Manaw, my cat. I called him by his name several times but there were only two other cats I’m not familiar with.

I asked mom where did my cat go. She said he was gone. The cat ran away, maybe looking for me outside, and did not come back home for a month. I was lost for words and I was trying to accept the fact that he was gone. I’ve searched for him inside the house and outside. Maybe he was only sleeping somewhere near it. I did not lose hope.

After two weeks of tirelessly seeking, I almost gave up but I tried my one last resort. I went outside and call him by his name. He loved being called Manaw. So I was walking north slowly, shouting.

“Maw! Maw!”

I paused for every step and say his name aloud. Several times, I never stopped calling and shouting and mimmiking his voice.

mmaw…” I heard a tiny trembling voice.

I continued to call. “MAW!”

We exchanged maws and then I saw something in front of me. Something was peaking his head out of a log. There he was. No doubt about it. My baby. My cat. It was really him. 
I called him out again and he ran into my arms. I’ve never cried so much in my entire dream life. I hugged him and kissed him and lifted him up as I felt his soft purr in my heart.

I can’t imagine how he survived that long.
Nothing to eat.
No shelter.
He kept on living.
For me.

I woke up. Ready to shed tears. I wanted to sleep again and go back to him. But I can’t because I have things to do and places to go to. That ended my story. I went to where my cat is earlier than expected. There, I hugged him and kissed him for a huge amount of time until he rejected me again. The dream was so hard for me to sink in even after I wrote it all down.

It’s hard to be away from my cat. Five months and we are already one year apart. I only have to visit them for a short amount of time every day (excluding Saturdays). That’s life. Someday I will be fully in charge of them.

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